Disclosure: Before we get to the things that go ‘bump’ in the night – in the interest of being clear and transparent:
Bear in mind that the link in this post is an affiliate link and if you go through it to make a purchase I will earn a commission. Keep in mind that I link companies and their products because of their quality and not because of the commission I receive from your purchases. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.
With that being said and done, here goes …
What scares you? REALLY scares you?
Is it something physical? Something physiological? Psychological?
Is it real or all in your head?
Whispers in the dark
Something ’bout the dark
It makes us listen to our fears
Whispers in the dark
They call your name
You can’t escape the dark
When light just dwindles like a flame
– Indecent Obsession Song
Fear can be paralyzing. It can cause you to give up all hope and never even try.
So here’s the thing.
What do you do with those fears? Do you let it run (and even ruin) your life or do you face it head on?
With the start of a new year, now is the best time to ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’ like Susan Jeffers says.
Step 1: Identify the fear
Identify the fear – is it logical, in other words is it something that is likely to happen? If yes – what can you do about it? Prepare yourself for the situations. If no – well then, you need to ask yourself why is this limiting me?
Susan Jeffers says at the base of every fear is this: ‘I’m afraid I won’t be able to handle it.’ – Just think about it. Why are you afraid of being rejected? Because you’re afraid that you can’t handle being rejected.
But if you know that within you, there is the power to handle anything life throws at you – what do you have left to fear? NOTHING!
Learn to say to yourself: ‘I can handle it!’
Step 2: Take risks
Take risks. NO – do NOT try to cross the road before an oncoming car, that is not the risks I’m talking about. Take risks on things that deep down you know you can achieve, things that will build your self esteem when you get it right.
Step 3: Stop playing the victim
Stop playing the victim. Take responsibility for your life. Even if you have no control over the things that happen to you – you can still choose how you react to it …
If you are blaming others for how you are experiencing life, you are giving away all your power – this leads to depression, sooner or later. You are not a helpless bystander in the story of your own life – you are the HERO. Act like one!
Step 4: Stop negativity
Stop listening to that little inner voice that tells you all sorts of negative things. For that matter, stop listening to ANYONE who are a constant negative in your life. Stop feeding on negative thoughts.
Find YOUR tribe. That is the positive people in your life. The ones that make you smile. That see the bright side of every situation. The people who stand by you, no matter what, without blaming. Without making every problem worse. The ones who have a suitcase full of solutions for every problem. Avoid those who have a problem for every solution.
Step 5: Find the upside
Find the upside. Big decision needs making? Find the upside – if you decide to take the big promotion and it is everything you’ve dreamed of – brilliant. If you take it and it turns out you would have been wiser to say no – well, now you have to find the upside. What did you learn from this experience? What opportunities are there right now for you to explore? How can you turn it around? Make an adventure of it.
Decide to make every decision a ‘no-loose’ decision. I always say “Make a decision and then live with the outcome.” This does not mean sulk – this means see the upside, if possible, correct! You either win or you learn!
Step 6: Expand your horizons
Expand your horizons. Do not let your whole world revolve around one person, or your job, or any other one thing. This way if a relationship don’t work out, or you loose your job – you still have a lot going for you. If your whole revolve around your children and they leave the house, what is left? Make sure you have enough left to ‘keep you busy’ when you face a loss.
Finally, step 7: Say YES
Say ‘YES’ to opportunities. The only way you can overcome those illogical fears, is by showing yourself that you had nothing to fear in the first place. Fake it till you make it!
If you are living in fear, do yourself a favour. Get a copy of Susan Jeffers’ book ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’.
This book is mind and life altering – only read if you are willing to change.