I’m holding her tight, feeling her heartbeat and hearing her breathe. My three year old daughter is not feeling well… She started with a fever earlier and vomited tonight. I’m holding her tight as she is now sleeping calmly on my chest.
Since I realized she isn’t well, I started feeling emotional, okay, I’m always emotional, but this is a different feeling. A feeling of uncontrollable love, fear and everything a mom-heart can feel.
I suddenly got reminded what my life is all about… I have been going through a rough patch, where I didn’t know how to get up in the morning. My cheerful, positive, creative and optimistic self got lost in a state of melancholy the past two months… and as I am holding my little princess, I suddenly realized… I have to get up, step up and reach up… I need to do it for myself, but even more for these two little human beings that call me MOM.
The sudden realization that you are their world and that if you are not okay, they aren’t either. The fact that another life, or in my case two lives, are dependent on you for their daily needs and well being gave me a reality check…. a much needed one.
I will get up tomorrow morning, dress myself up, do my hair and makeup beautifully and show them what life is all about… Having fun, being positive and doing what they need me to do… to be the best mommy I can be… the one that knows what she wants from life and living it to its full potential.
I need to be positive for my little one when she isn’t feeling well and I need to be able to cope with my six year old boy’s meltdowns after school and just pick him up and hold him to assure him everything will be okay. To do this, I need to be well rested, have a healthy mind, body and soul and teach them the same.
It doesn’t matter from which side you look at this, you get to the same answer… we need to start looking after OURSELVES. Take that long bubble bath with the bathroom door locked, finish that book you are busy reading and forget about the dishes for a few more hours, go for a jog, have wine with a friend or go watch a movie. Whatever you need for your soul to heal and be happy, do it!!!
It’s our womanly nature to want to nurture others and we tend to take care of everyone else, except ourselves. It’s perfectly normal and okay to feel depressed, sad and lost sometimes, as long as you don’t stay there… with the grace and strength of the Lord, get up, step up and reach up… You are worth it!